Kids Quitting Sports: 10 Reasons Why and What Adults are Getting Wrong

September 30, 2024

18 min read

Kids Quitting Sports: 10 Reasons Why and What Adults are Getting Wrong

Youth sports participation is crucial for physical health, social skills, and personal development. However, many adolescents stop playing sports as they transition into middle and high school. Let’s explore some of the top reasons behind this trend, provide examples, and offer comprehensive solutions for parents, coaches, and league administrators.

1. Lack of Fun

According to Project Play, a significant reason kids quit sports is that it stops being fun. The pressure to win and perform can overshadow the joy of playing. For example, a young basketball player might lose interest if practices become too focused on drills and winning games rather than enjoying the sport. Another reason sports stop being fun is when the player is very consciously aware that they are not developing the skills needed to succeed. Feeling like you are the worst on the team, or that you are letting your teammates and coaches down, is a heavy burden to carry. These players can easily fall into the trap of thinking that they don’t belong and it is time to move on to other interests that come more naturally to them.

Solution:

Emphasize Enjoyment: Coaches should prioritize fun and skill development over competition. Incorporating games, varied drills, and positive reinforcement can make practices more enjoyable. It also helps to develop those hard skills that players need to contribute meaningfully to the team and feel proud of their abilities.
Player Input: Allowing players to have a say in practice activities and team decisions can increase their engagement and enjoyment. A new 10-year-old player, first time playing the game, once approached me as their coach and suggested a game called Coconuts that he learned from his cousin. It turned out to be not only fun but also great at developing several skills relevant to the sport. We played that game almost every practice that season, and I continued using it in practices at all age levels I ever coached after that. Sharing is caring, so speak up, listen up, and we all get better together!
Positive Environment: Creating a supportive and positive team environment where effort and improvement are celebrated can help maintain the fun aspect of sports. The everyday verbal feedback is that consistent, constant reminder to players and parents that everything is on the right track. When calling attention to a mistake, first offer positive feedback for something done right. For example, Quit messing around and pay attention! can be tweaked just a bit while coming across with the same message: This bat is hot! Look out! You never know when the ball is coming your way! Who’s ready? Are you ready? [rally them like a cheerleader] I can’t hear you, are you ready? The power of positive coaching.

2. Overemphasis on Specialization

Early specialization in a single sport can lead to burnout and overuse injuries, notes Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. Many young athletes are pushed to focus on one sport year-round, which can be physically and mentally exhausting. We addressed this in detail in another blog post you can read here. For example, if a 12U competitive coach pressures you to bring your son back to full time activity on the team after just 1 month off, be prepared to politely stand your ground. It is ok to say your player could use the rest and will be back after 3 months off. As suggested before, communication with coach is key. Be prepared to find a better team fit somewhere else, if needed. It’s not worth giving in to a harmful philosophy.

Solution:

Encourage Multi-Sport Participation: Promoting participation in multiple sports can prevent burnout and overuse injuries. It also helps develop a well-rounded skill set. The benefits of lifelong learning have been described by many, including in this TEDx talk on neuroplasticity of the brain. Not to get too deep in the science here, but learning new things builds a stronger brain. Watch the video and ask yourself how it might apply to sports. It makes sense that developing yourself in a different sport would help to develop an overall more athletic body. Whether that comes in the form of power, flexibility, coordination, or any other strength or ability useful in a particular sport, it allows the athlete to grow in new ways. Also, by experiencing new things or seeing them from a different angle, we train the brain to understand things more completely and where they fit in the context of everything else. Be a lifelong learner. Mix up the perspective. Learn something different in another sport or activity, then come back and apply it to what you were doing before. You can find renewed energy and even more enjoyment. It’s a great way to level up.
Off-Season Breaks: Implementing off-season breaks and encouraging rest periods can help athletes recover and maintain their enthusiasm for the sport. During that same 3 months off for our 12-year-old that I mentioned before, it crossed my mind more than once, What if he loses interest in his sport? What if he doesn’t want to come back? Well, he and I were talking just the other night, and he told me in the best way a 12-year-old could, that when he starts baseball again he wants to go All-In! I realized in that moment, that a little time away has helped him realize how much he enjoys it. Now he is chomping at the bit and will come back even stronger!
Education: Educating parents and athletes about the risks of early specialization and the benefits of diverse athletic experiences can help shift the focus away from single-sport specialization. During those practice and game conversations between parents, be sure to share your perspective. Good ideas only grow when they are shared! And you can always point them to Bravara to read up and learn the latest!

3. Increased Academic Pressure

As students advance in school, academic demands grow. Homework, exams, and college preparation take up more time and energy, leaving less room for sports. The days of little to no homework often give way to lengthy assignments from multiple classes, team projects with pressing deadlines, and more challenging tests requiring sincere study time. My daughter, for example, is skipping soccer practice this week because she has struggled recently to complete homework assignments on time in her first year in high school. She is a conscientious student taking challenging classes. It has become a time management challenge and something needs to take a backseat. As her parents, we are very aware that colleges will not be asking how she did on her recreational soccer team. They will want to know her GPA and the coursework she enrolled in. Colleges want to see extracurriculars, no doubt, but clearly academics are of greater concern unless (or maybe even still, if) you are an elite athlete. So, what are the recreational athletes and their parents to do?

Solution:

Balanced Scheduling: Schools and parents can collaborate to create balanced schedules that allow time for both academics and sports. This might include flexible practice times or study sessions integrated into sports programs. What if those teachers notoriously known for endless hours of homework assignments were more aware of the importance of balanced scheduling, and adjusted their teaching to allow more learning in the classroom and less busy work at home? We can’t expect them to adapt on their own. Parents and coaches need to advocate for balanced scheduling with school administrators and teachers. It takes a village.
Academic Support: Providing academic support within sports programs, such as tutoring or study groups, can help students manage their workload. There could also be a win-win here for those more studious players on a team. What if a couple of players became “team tutors” because they excelled academically? It is not always the case, but sometimes those same players have a little bit harder time connecting socially with their peers. Nothing boosts confidence and comradery like feeling needed and receiving positive feedback for your contributions. It would be important to make sure teammates and parents are on board with the idea of making a team tutor a respectable role, so it doesn’t turn into yet another reason why the academically gifted kid feels out of place. If not a team tutor, connect players with tutors at school or by other means to help ensure they are keeping up.
Communication: Open communication between coaches, teachers, and parents can ensure that students are not overwhelmed and can balance their responsibilities effectively. If your player is going to miss a practice or two because of homework, give coach a heads up with some advance notice and let coach know the reason why. If you skip out without letting coach know why, coach could be thinking a hundred different things as to why your player isn’t fully participating. Keep an open dialogue. More often than not, recreational coaches will be very understanding and supportive of ensuring that your player is a successful student first, and then an athlete. Competitive team coaches have a reputation of not being quite as understanding, but don’t make an assumption. Have the same conversation and see where the dialogue goes. Depending on your community, there might be half a dozen other competitive teams that would be happy to have your player on their team, so keep searching for the right match.

4. Social Pressures and Changing Interests

As children grow older, their interests and social circles evolve. They may develop new hobbies or prefer spending time with friends in non-sporting activities. For example, a teenager might choose to spend more time with friends at social events rather than attending soccer practice. This isn’t all bad. There are a lot of physically and socially healthy activities for teens that are not organized sports. The concern would be if the teen thought that it wasn’t socially acceptable in their peer group to continue to play a sport, so they stop doing something that they actually enjoy. Even worse would be if they trade organized sports for unhealthy activities or interests that bring them more harm than good. How can continuation in sports help to keep youth active and living a healthy lifestyle?

Solution:

Flexible Participation: Offering flexible participation options, such as recreational leagues or intramural sports, can accommodate changing interests and schedules. Changing interests sometimes means changing the sport, and that is totally okay too! My daughter has played recreational soccer for 6 years. Her cousin recently introduced her to lacrosse, and now she wants to give that a try. Go for it! Allow flexibility to switch sports, switch a team or league that better fits location or schedule, etc. Network with other parents and social media groups to find an option that works for you and your player.
Social Integration: Creating opportunities for social interaction within sports, such as team-building activities and social events, can help maintain interest. Tell me if this sounds about right to you…it’s 2 weeks after the season ended. You ask your kid what they liked best about the season, and they say it was the end of season party! Maybe it was freshest in their mind, but honestly that party was probably a ton of fun. Did a season full of experiences make the party that much more fun? Probably, yes. But the point remains…the fun with friends is such a highlight of the youth sports experience. So don’t be shy to turn a practice into an on-field or on-court party of sorts. It’s okay to skip a skills day and turn it into a memorable hour or two of fun. And don’t worry about the kids falling behind because of one or two mid-season parties. They gain a competitive edge all the same. It’s called team chemistry!
Supportive Environment: Encouraging a supportive environment where athletes feel comfortable exploring new interests while still participating in sports can help them balance their activities. Let’s model this behavior for other parents, for coaches, and for players. When someone starts talking about another sport or another interest, listen and be interested! More than a handful of times when I was growing up, another sport or interest of mine came up at practice. No matter the sport, coach, or players, they always made fun of me for the other sport or activity I was involved in. Baseball players made fun of me for playing soccer. My soccer coach and teammates made fun of me for being on a baseball team. I shrugged it off and moved forward. But, let’s do better. When a kid brings up another sport, ask What do you like about that sport? Let them know it’s awesome to play other sports, then re-focus and ask What do you like about this sport? Guaranteed, that player will feel more empowered for practice and the next game because you expressed interest in their interests.

5. Negative Experiences with Coaches and Parents

Coaching styles and parental behavior significantly impact a child’s sports experience. Negative coaching tactics and excessive parental pressure can demotivate young athletes. My wife played a lot of basketball growing up. Looking back, she sometimes shares how odd it was when coaches enforced punishments for poor play among the team. The punishment was usually endless running, which if you think about it is basically saying Running is bad, that’s why it’s a punishment. It’s like saying Eat your broccoli before you can have dessert. It totally reinforces the thinking that it’s not what we really want. But is that true? Do we really not want to be strong runners or have healthy eating habits, or to enjoy the benefits of either? As it turns out, running and even broccoli can be enjoyed (try it lightly steamed and topped with your favorite bean dip, or my personal favorite topped with melted pepperjack cheese. Sometimes we are just a slight modification away from enjoying what is good for us!) As we know, though, there are far too numerous ways that coaches and parents can create a negative experience for players. How can we be part of the solution, not part of the problem?

Solution:

Positive Coaching: Coaches should adopt positive coaching techniques that build confidence and foster a love for the game. This includes constructive feedback, encouragement, and focusing on personal growth. Some coaches are gamifying the player development journey. Others just have a really good persona on the field that helps players feel calm and confident. Find an example of a positive coach you admire. Maybe legendary UCLA coach John Wooden, NFL hall of famer Tony Dungy, or decorated Tennessee Volunteers women’s basketball coach Pat Summit. Study up. Be the best version of your coaching self!
Parental Education: Educating parents on the importance of supportive and positive behavior can help reduce pressure on young athletes. Parents should be encouraged to focus on effort and enjoyment rather than just outcomes. Let’s say you couldn’t make it to your kid’s game today (because you were at their sibling’s game scheduled at the same time! 😊 ) When you get home, what will you ask them? If “Did you win?” comes out of your mouth within the first 5 minutes of talking about the game, you are doing it wrong! Even if your player offers up the score, just acknowledge it briefly but then dig in with questions about more meaningful parts of the game, like “What positions did you play?” “What was it like playing a new position?” “How did your team respond when the other team took the lead?” These kinds of questions not only make for a more exciting conversation, they also teach the player to know what is important about the experience.
Feedback Mechanisms: Implementing feedback mechanisms where athletes can express their concerns about coaching or parental behavior can help address issues early on. Talking with adults is intimidating for most youth. Try and make it easier. There are a lot of tactics you can learn for this. One is to be physically on their level. That is, if the player is much shorter than you, sit down together, or take a knee so you aren’t towering over them. You may have to endure moments of awkward silence while the youth is struggling to get their words out. It’s ok. Smile and enjoy the moment. Listen intently for what they are trying to say and help them articulate it if they need the help. Thank them for the question or input, and treat them like an equal in coming up with potential solutions.

6. Body Image and Self-Esteem Issues

Adolescence is a time of significant physical and emotional changes. Body image concerns and self-esteem issues can affect a child’s willingness to participate in sports. Increasingly aware of how they look in a uniform, a teen might feel so self-conscious about their appearance that they decide it just isn’t worth the risk of showing up to the game for fear that someone at the field will speak unkindly and that the jeering might even continue at school the next week.

Solution:

Promote Body Positivity: Coaches and parents should emphasize the importance of health and fitness over appearance. Creating a supportive environment that promotes body positivity and self-confidence is crucial. Praise the good habits of showing up and giving it what they’ve got. “80% of success is showing up,” is one I have been told more than a few times. A soccer player on my daughter’s team was known for having a strong kick despite her small frame. Coach pointed out that every player, no matter tall or short, big muscles or small muscles, or anything else…everyone can kick the ball hard with the right technique.
Inclusive Practices: Ensuring that sports programs are inclusive and accommodating of all body types and skill levels can help athletes feel more comfortable and accepted. If the same kid is always lagging far behind in the conditioning drills, it is time to mix up the drills and do something that doesn’t keep singling that kid out as an underperformer. There are a ton of ways to keep kids moving and increasing their conditioning level. You don’t need the same routine of running laps every practice. A relay race, for example, can sometimes help to mask the underperformance because the kids usually focus on which team won instead of which kid ran fast or slow. There are lots of effective drills across many sports that require running, without individual running being the focus.

7. Financial Constraints

The cost of participating in sports can be a barrier for many families, also noted by Project Play. Expenses related to equipment, uniforms, travel, and club fees can add up, especially when your kid is on a competitive club or travel team. While we believe there are generally too many players opting for competitive leagues too soon in their young careers, it is understandable that some families will at some point make the leap and leave recreational sports. If quality of the rec league is the reason for leaving, then take a look at our blog post on balanced teams for some ideas of how to retain more families while also improving the quality of the league at the same time. If faced with the perceived (or actual) low quality rec league vs the (perceived or actual) high-cost and high-quality club team, some families will simply exit altogether because neither option meets their needs.

Solution:

Financial Assistance: Leagues and organizations can offer scholarships or financial assistance programs to help families in need. This can include reduced fees, equipment donations, or fundraising efforts. Some of the most enjoyable and successful fundraising events we have seen are those that involve meeting up at the park with various food vendors. Families come and enjoy good food and a good time, and a portion goes back to the league.
Community Support: Engaging the community in support of youth sports through sponsorships, donations, and volunteer efforts can help alleviate financial burdens. A lot of things need to happen right for a youth sports league to function. With so many moving parts, the good news is that there are plenty of people and organizations involved who have a vested interest in keeping the program alive and growing. Think about who benefits other than the participants…the sporting goods stores, the pizza place where the majority of teams go to have their end-of-season party, the medal and trophy makers, the uniform and team banner vendors…the list goes on and on. These are all stakeholders in your sports league. Embrace them. Ask for their help. If your league is a non-profit, businesses can donate and write it off as a tax deduction. Consider designating a board member with experience in fundraising, grant writing, sales, or customer service to stay on top of these stakeholder relationships and to ask for specific sponsorship or donation when needed.
Cost-Effective Options: Providing cost-effective options for participation, such as community leagues or school-based programs, can make sports more accessible to all families. Being that recreational and school-based tend to be the more cost effective options, be sure to also maximize the quality of the experience with balanced teams, well-trained game officials and coaches, and a good relationship between board members, coaches, and parents.

8. Lack of Access to Quality Programs or Infrastructure

In some areas, there may be a lack of access to quality sports programs, facilities, and coaching. This can limit opportunities for youth to participate in sports. It’s kind of hard to play ice hockey when you live in a warmer climate and there is no indoor ice rink. Rural communities might not offer all the amenities found in a larger city when it comes to youth sports. Several circumstances exist that can limit access.

Solution:

Investment in Facilities: Investing in community sports facilities and programs can provide more opportunities for youth to participate in sports. In many communities, facilities are publicly owned. The league’s board ought to maintain frequent communication with city and county officials to express appreciation and collaborate on needs regarding facilities. Share stories of how important your program is for families and kids and how it wouldn’t be possible with their support. If an issue does arise, or you aren’t finding the cooperation you want, a good deal of networking may be needed to get the right people involved to address the problem. Asking league families to speak up and attend city council meetings, and other similar efforts, may be needed as well.
Training for Coaches: Providing training and resources for coaches can improve the quality of sports programs and ensure that athletes receive proper instruction and support. The folks over at Positive Coaching Alliance recognize the vital role coaches play in helping youth get the most out of their sports, and have developed training to support athletic programs around this. Parents love it when they feel their kid has a positive experience with a coach. These parents are very likely to sign their kid up again next season, even if they know the chances of getting the same coach are slim to none. It’s really about the experience. If it was positive, they will come back for more.
Partnerships: Forming partnerships with local schools, businesses, and organizations can help expand access to quality sports programs and resources. If the city doesn’t have enough fields for your teams, it might be time to talk with the schools and ask to rent theirs. Still not enough? Might be time to talk with another sports league that also uses fields like yours (for example, flag football and soccer) to see if you could join up to share field space so both leagues can continue to thrive. As an added benefit, you could also share the cost of fields.

9. Injury Concerns

According to Stanford Children’s, more than 3.5 million injuries occur every year in youth sports. Jersey Watch notes that once the athlete reaches middle school and high school, many of the injuries are due to overuse. There isn’t much a player can do to participate when their ACL is torn, or they just had rotator cuff surgery. If a player returns after such an injury, they understandably might be hesitant to fully re-engage in their sport even if they are cleared by a physician to do so. Even hearing about injuries or seeing their peers injured can deter athletes from playing. Overcoming both the physical and mental hurdles related to sports injuries are needed.

Solution:

Safety Measures: Implementing and enforcing safety measures, such as proper equipment, safe playing conditions, and injury prevention programs, can help reduce the risk of injuries. Introducing new players to a game, along with the nuance of certain safety equipment, can require a good deal of patience, but can also bring some humor and smiles to coaches’ and parents’ faces.
Rehabilitation Support: Providing access to rehabilitation and recovery resources can help injured athletes return to sports safely and confidently. Most youth will rely on their access to health insurance and healthcare providers for this. We also encourage schools and other organizations with sports programs to ensure that if an athletic trainer is available, that the trainer be available equally to all athletes in the organization no matter which sport they play.
Education: Educating athletes, parents, and coaches about injury prevention and proper techniques can help minimize the risk of injuries. More and more states and leagues require that coaches and officials be trained on player safety, in particular concussion awareness among other topics. Resources can also be shared with parents and players.

10. Lack of Role Models

A lack of positive role models in sports can impact a child’s motivation to participate. Seeing successful athletes who they can relate to can inspire youth to continue playing sports. When my wife was in middle school, she had no desire to play organized basketball, despite having an uncle play professionally. She tried out for the middle school team only because she wanted to earn a bribe from her parents (a tv in the family van for those long vacation road trips - something they were probably planning on getting already, but took the opportunity to offer as an incentive for her to try out for the school team). She didn’t have any female basketball player to look up to. I, on the other hand, dreamed big of being a major league baseball player. It was easy to dream because everywhere I turned there were MLB games on tv, baseball trading cards galore, countless movies glorifying baseball, and Angel stadium was within a 30-minute drive of my home. So how did my wife’s performance in her sport, without a role model, compare to mine, with multiple role models? She earned either 1st or 2nd team All State in Utah for all four years of high school and set several state records in points, blocks, and rebounds. Me? My baseball career peaked at around 10 years old in Little League. From there it was all downhill. I tried out for and did not make the high school freshman baseball team, and instead stuck to soccer which was my other regular sport. 😂 Obviously, a role model does not guarantee performance, but I still love baseball and what it can offer at both recreational and competitive levels.

Solution:

· Mentorship Programs: Establishing mentorship programs where young athletes can connect with older, successful athletes in their same sport can provide inspiration and guidance. The older age groups within a particular league are an easy find for potential mentors. Look beyond the league as well, to local high schools or nearby colleges. Competitive team coaches and training facilities that host private lessons can be good resources to help identify local community members who once played in college or professionally. These former athletes are often willing to give back to their sport by reaching out to younger players.

Community Engagement: Encouraging community engagement and involvement in sports can help create a network of positive role models for young athletes. Adult pickup games and organized leagues can be a great way for youth to see that sports are for everyone, and you don’t have to be a professional to enjoy them. Although I didn’t think much of it at the time, looking back I can see that one more reason I liked baseball as a kid was because I liked going to watch my dad play in his adult slow pitch softball league.

Conclusion

Understanding why youth stop playing sports is crucial for parents, coaches, and sports organizations. While individual circumstances are unique, there are several common themes that can be better understood and addressed. By addressing issues with comprehensive solutions, we can create a more supportive and enjoyable environment that encourages continued participation in sports. The goal is to foster a lifelong love for physical activity and the many benefits it brings to the individual, to the family, and to the community.

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